Time to Make Changes?

Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions? It’s occurred to me recently that I am doing just that. As far as epiphanies go, that’s not a very earth-shattering one, but it’s enough to give me pause. I haven’t been consciously taking stock of my life; there’s no landmark looming in terms of age, so sudden realisations like that can be quite intriguing. I have no idea what brought it on, but obviously there has to be some truth in it if my inner voice is rousing itself long enough to speak.

Is this what they call getting stuck in a rut? Does routine life, without major ups and downs, bring on such revelations? Is this the result of coasting through life without any ambitions, burning or otherwise? And why now? I’ve been leading a similar sort of life for a while and it hasn’t raised any questions in my mind before.

It’s scary when you think about it. It’s thoughts like these, creeping insidiously into carefree lives that result in major, and quite possibly rash, life decisions. Am I supposed to acquire a purpose now? Some lofty goals? Head in a definite direction instead of vaguely meandering through the days? Am I in fact actually wasting my life, doing nothing of great consequence?

There are those who will nod sagely. They are the types who don’t believe in wasting a moment of their day, leave alone an entire life. They have full time occupations or vocations. They have clearly defined goals and ambitions. The have a grand plan for life. And think that anyone who doesn’t is clearly a useless blot on society. When they have epiphanies, if they have time to spare from their hectic lives, they’re always in the earth-shattering category.

And then there are others like me. I hope. We engage in work at our own pace – it’s important to us but it doesn’t rule our lives. It may not even be work of great consequence but it brings us satisfaction. Occasional deadlines are a part of our existence too but they don’t reduce us to quivering wrecks subsisting on coffee and limited sleep. We don’t actively solicit more work. And if that leaves us with a lot of free time, we spend it wisely – on books and music and friends. And naps, plenty of those.

If every new day is a lot like the previous one, I for one, am pretty reassured. I’m not looking for too much excitement. I don’t thrive on extreme highs and lows. Not for me the joys of scaling dizzying new heights or overcoming insurmountable obstacles. If I saw an obstacle I would probably walk around it! Since I am not part of what I call the rat race, I don’t encounter too many lows brought on by unmet targets, workplace politics, or cranky colleagues. Thanks to the wonders of technology, I don’t even have to interact face to face with clients, except very rarely, which suits me very well.

In a nutshell, I don’t have professional goals other than to do a good job of what I’ve taken on. And as you’ve probably gathered, I don’t take on very much. Just enough to keep the grey cells active. Personally, my goals are simple too – to be in good health, surrounded by family and friends, with a book or two always within easy reach! I’m reasonably happy with the way things are.

So what exactly does my inner voice mean when it suggests I’m merely going through the motions? Is it implying that I am holding out for something really significant? That till I discover the true purpose of my life I am not really living? Should I heed it or should I ignore it? Is it time to make some changes to the relatively even pace of my life? Can I perhaps do with some challenges to shake up my customary ennui? Should I try to step out of my comfort zone? Or should I just lie down and let the feeling pass...